Here is the latest bit of hate mail I received (really, really hateful this time), regarding my column about the potential fall of Roe V. Wade, and my response. The name of the writer has been changed to protect the ignorant, um, I mean, “innocent.”



So tired of you and your white nationalist Reformative Christianity!

“Pro life” when you want to perform for your congregation. and others…. Sadducees!

I might have some respect for a hypocrite like you if you were to support putting to death those disgusting Moms who make a decision God gave them the freedom to make. Let’s throw all those who knew about that decision in jail for life…husband, doctor, family member…..accessory to Murder.

But your support of God, Family, County….GUNS, WEAPONS OF WAR MEANT TO KILL PEOPLE….PRO LIFE is nothing less than PERFORMATIVE CHRISTAINAITY.
Have you ever heard of the Prince of Peace?
God says he will spew out hypocrites like you!
I pray God does just that!

Willy Wonky

Dear Willy,

Good to hear from you! Just got back from my Cray Cray Cray Meeting. It’s like the KKK, only instead of hating on black people, we sit around and laugh at white people like you who call brown people like me white supremacists. The meetings are pretty cool. We don’t have robes or hoods or anything, but every now and then, one of the guys shows up in a Bass Master hat with a fish hook on the bill, which we all think is awesome.

Anyway, in the very first line of your email, after referring to me as a white supremacist (and by the way, do you guys ever show any originality? If you were a choral arrangement, it would be three pages of middle C being hit four times per measure from start to finish,) you say that you are also tired of my “Reformative Christianity.”

Willy, Willy, Willy…

For starters, based on your next paragraph and emphasis on free will, the word you are groping for (inaccurately, I might add) is “Reformed.” Calvinism. And I am not Reformed; I am not a Calvinist. If I were, I would be inclined to ask if you had been elected and pre-ordained to emotional outbursts and poor reasoning skills, but I am not, so I will just assume it is your own choice.

As for me “performing for my congregation,” I have been standing the same way and saying the same thing for my entire ministry, which you have obviously never heard a single message of.
And as far as you referring to my congregation as Sadducees, to quote the great theologian, Inigo Montoya, “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” The Sadducees were the ones who did not believe in any resurrection. Every last one of us does, and we very much look forward to it. Maybe try looking things up before spouting off using random words of which you clearly know nothing, m’kay?

As for the implication you clearly make that, since God gave mothers the free will to abort their babies, it must not be wrong, please be aware that He has also given me the free will to give snarky emailers a nuclear wedgie should I ever meet them in person. And yet, I doubt if that would be okay with you, even though it would certainly be entertaining for me.

You move on from there to say, “But your support of God, Family, County….GUNS, WEAPONS OF WAR MEANT TO KILL PEOPLE….PRO LIFE is nothing less than PERFORMATIVE CHRISTAINAITY.”

You certainly do like using words with “formative” in them, don’t you, Willy? First, my Christianity was Reformative, and now Performative. Well, at least in this instance, you picked a real word. An inaccurate word, but a word nonetheless, so kudos for the effort. You should know, though (as I have already stated) that there is no “performance” to any of this. Babies being killed is not a game to me or to God; it is a national disgrace, a stain on our collective souls, and a sacrament of Satan. And you should know, Willy, since you brought up racism in reference to all of this, that the most racist thing in the universe is the white liberal who pushes for the codification of a decision made by seven men, six of whom were white, that disproportionally results in the death of black babies. Black mothers have 38% of the abortions in America, while blacks make up just 12% of the population. Abortion takes the lives of 649 black babies every single day. So before you start spouting about white supremacy, you may want to deal with that white robe and hood in your own ideological closet, hoss.

Lastly, you say that God promised to spew people like me out of his mouth. Once again, you show as much understanding of Scripture as you do of the abortion issue, meaning absolutely none. Here is the passage you are so badly brutalizing with that statement:

Revelation 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

Notice that the very specific reason God said he would spue people out of his mouth was because they were lukewarm instead of being cold or hot. You might possibly be able to tell from the heat of this response that I am definitely not lukewarm about much of anything, especially matters of righteousness.

Have a great day, Willy; and thank your mom for choosing life so that you could.